Knock, knock

Hope is vulnerable, faith is fragile, either can easily tip off balance if not handled correctly.  Expectations often set us up for disappointments; we plan out something in our heads, how we see something unfolding, and when it plays out in a different way we're thrown off a little.  Roadblocks, barriers and walls, these are just terms we use to say that there is something blocking you from the destination you need to be, there's something blocking you from the truth, these could be past traumas, things that you still haven't let go of, depression, addiction, mental conditioning the way you're thinking, there are various weaknesses we have.  We have to remember our strength is found in God, not man, not ourselves!

'Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you.'  Matthew 7:7

You feel alone in your own bubble.  You feel like you're lost and no one cares, no one knows or understands because you've become isolated, it's like you're in the middle of the ocean fighting, reaching, struggling to swim, trying not to drown.  You're hoping someone will just see you and then you dont have to say it, you won't have to go through it alone.
God sees you, God knows everything about you and he was there all the time.  Sometimes we need that pain, the fight in us to get us to where we need to be with God, and he won't leave us in those troubled waters alone or for a long period of time.  On the other side of the trials could be something God will use one day either for you to help your roots grow or for someone else whose going through their own struggles rather like yours.

'No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.' Romans 8:37-39

There is power in sharing your emotions, and it's okay to be vulnerable, we have a loving and understanding God.  We can be open and honest about anything, it doesn't matter that he already knows, he wants you to talk to him so that you grow and build a relationship with him.  Build that foundation and watch it grow into something powerful.

'Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all anxieties on him, because he cares for you.'  1 Peter 5:6-7

Take a step of faith.

'And the Lord said, 'If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it would obey you.'  Luke 17:6

The past doesn't define you, you can start over, Christ died on the cross saving us from our sins, you are made new, confess to God, share all your cares and worries with him, be ready to serve him.  The past can strengthen you, learn from it.  Allow God to build you, mould you, use you and fill you with the Holy Spirit to be a mighty warrior for him, trust and hope and have faith again.

Your story won't end in failure, not when God is by your side.  We have victory in Jesus name!